Hey I’m going through a similar situation but my boyfriend and I’ve been dating for 2 years now

August 24, 2022
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Hey I’m going through a similar situation but my boyfriend and I’ve been dating for 2 years now

Stop making excuses.

he actually sent me to the hospital I had to have surgery on my right labrum because of him he tore it an I’m still with him but I’m starting to think I need to leave him an everything but I guess I’m scared an I’m 25 years old I’ve told my parents an everything my heart wants to stay but idk anymore then he’s wanting to buy him a gun but I dont think its fair for me to have to buy him one wen he can’t buy one on his own

It’s been a struggle for 3 years name calling no respect I’m 55he is 34 oh no I can’t go thru tht

He was awful to me, scolded me and said “I can’t have you doing that! It was so painful because we enjoyed the rose petals and it was sacred that I collected and dried them for our time together… . He continued to degrade me more and more, and be worried about “her finding out” but then he started telling me all about her, but not telling her about me. I told him I accept him how he is, it’s his life and ultimately he can do what he wants, be with who he wants to be with and if I don’t like it I will make my disgusted with myself. The sex is great and he is smart, creative, motivated, ADHD, traumatized and very messed up.

I cry and beg. Pleading for him to do something else other than smoke pot, lounge on the patio and swoon over fancy tobacco. He’s so busy putting on this facade that he forgets to be who he is. He omits the truth almost constantly, putting on cloaks of fabricated tails. Where he was, who he was with, why he was there, and what he did. I never get the whole truth or even a partial truth.

I learned to just avoid him when he started getting that way. Next day he would wake up, feel god awful and guilty, we would make love to one another. We had the most amazing and satisfying sex life. He could get me to orgasm within 3 minutes. As a woman, that’s like woah. Any man I had been with before could never get me like that. I always forgave him. Over time he became slowly controlling. My only guy friend I was allowed to have left was our mutual best friend. I used to be involved with music and a amazing artist. I’ve been losing hair and my body has been falling apart this last year. I can’t even draw a picture anymore. We would break up on and off this last year… my mother hates him.

Hi, I am in a similar situation and this post has hit hard. I have been in a relationship with a man 9 years my senior with 3 kids but we are arguing constantly and it is always made out my fault and he doesn’t rest until I admit it. If I am wrong I will admit I am. He gets jealous and paranoid about all sorts of things and the accusations are killing me. These arguments are just draining the life out of me and I don’t have any fight left. No matter what happens or how I feel about a situation I always get made out the “bad” guy. I really think I am in a “controlling or manipulative” relationship and have struggled to see a way out. The guilt of leaving the kids etc. I was also venerable when we met as it wasn’t even a year since I lost my dad. I need out and don’t know how. Life is miserable. I really didn’t ever think this would happen to me ??

Thank you, each and every one of you… you give me hope that even 2 years after leaving him in NM to come back to my hometown I will be able to maybe find myself again.

We just had another huge fight earlier this week and we haven’t come around to “let’s try to make this work” phase and it’s been giving me anxiety. I know this relationship is toxic and that I should let this go. Again, I recognize the feeling of addiction. In the heat of the moment I have clarity on why this won’t work for us but when we reach the next stage, I’m weak and try to find a way to keep our relationship going.

The original post and every comment has left me numb. Unlike most of you, we’ve been married 37 years, we all think we would know someone after such a long time. We both changed, We grew apart and the ONLY reason I am still here is because of my own fear on what awaits me on the other side. I’m not interested in dating, I’m interested in peace, of holding my anger in check. I suspect I’m co-dependent and have convinced myself that I need him even now. This relationship had elements of those things you name, the cheating, the lying, The money, the screaming always. I’m worn out. I’m leaving for a month because I want to. It not longer matters to me what HE wants or doesn’t want. He took advantage too many time but sadly, I allowed it each and every time. I begin my journey soon and I wish all of you the very best.

I see him maybe once a month and we really do try to keep things light and cordial because we know that our time together could be easily ruined, but this visit has been utterly dismal. I’m here for another 5 days and I’m been considering changing my flight to leave early ever since I arrived.

What’s your role in the relationship?

Been nearly 9 months now for me since it ended. It’s still very hard. I believe she has BPD. It was so hard for me and she could see it but had no emotion. It just didn’t seem normal. She was going to leave me for someone else and that fell through. Then she moved out and shortly after, within a couple of months, found someone else and moved in with them. And she acted like it should have no effect on me. I told her I cannot see her or talk to her. It’s very hard. There is no future for it and my head is saying I should be grateful I am free, when I look back at how poorly I was treated: lying, deciept, cheating, stealing. And yet nine months later I hear stuff about her and if affects me. I am still thinking why, what if, how etc. I just want to forget it all. She certainly has. Why can’t I?

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